One Man, Alone: Record of a Crusade
by Stars of Artemis
Summary: In the suspicious years between Giza and Mission City, the conspiracy theorists of the world may think that they're alone on the Web, but a certain bunch of bots on Diego Garcia see to it otherwise. Especially when one nutjob in particular seems to be getting it right...
1. GiantEffingRobots com

_http : / / www . realeffingrobots . com / intro - page /_

Here's the thing. I have been to the edge and back again. I have seen things you and your precious little civilian eyes and all their innocence could not dream of seeing. I have fought secret wars, I have been cast out of secret circles like Lucifer out of heaven, I have broken the law to save you and that sorry-ass McDonald's you cherish down the street too many times to count. I have been standing, one man, alone, betrayed by the country he loves, forced into the secret confines of my mother's deli's basement to hide the truth.

Who am I?

I…one man, alone….I, betrayed by the country I love…am a patriot.

I am your guiding light.

Your voice of truth in the darkness of common civilian ignorance.

I…am Robowarrior.

The truth is out, people, despite what our prestigious government says.

Are you ready?

You better be.

Because Shanghai…Rome…Venezuela…

They may say they're all terrorist attacks, gas leaks, even 'construction accidents.'

I say, 'Bull crap.'

It's not an accident.

It's not even _human_.

It's a _conspiracy_.

So ignore the truth if you want to. Live in bliss while you can. You can't hide forever. HUMANITY CAN'T HIDE FOREVER. We unite, or we're screwed. Because the signs are clear. The stars are aligned.

We're not alone on this planet anymore.

They're back.


	2. QuickSilver13

http : / / www. GiantEffingRobots .com/ -uploads-post/

_Well, my little civilian friends, I am sure you are in your doubt. I have even received a few uploader comments on the opening thread page stating that some of you 'don't believe any of this bulls***', that 'giant effing robots are a piece of **** invented by conspiracy theorists', and where is all the 'God**** f****** proof?'_

_Proof, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cats and dogs, civilians of every color and state of wackiness, is coming._

_And you better hope it comes from me before it comes from them._

_Let me clear up just a few things for you. I am an ex government agent who has been on the inside of everything that occurs behind sealed doors. I invented the meaning of the word 'classified.' I know what happens that you and your little Taco Bell dogs and everyone else in your little operations have NO IDEA EVEN EXISTED._

_Here are the basics; there are two sides. The good, and the bad. The protective, and the ugly. The ones that want to use our planet as a little home-away-from-home, and the ones that want to eat us in our sleep. Look around you. 'Where are these giant effing robots?' you say._

_Two words; IN DISGUISE._

_You think an advanced technological race that made it all the way to earth couldn't blend in? They're all around us! Hidden as that shiny sports car on the street, that new kitchen application you picked up, the newest 3G phone in the Apple Store! They're everywhere! And we're just making it easier for them. I have seen with my own eyes how they can hide among us. TRUST NOTHING. Or wake up to find your toaster strangling you. Be my guest._

_What real proof do I have?_

_Two words; MISSION CITY?_

_A gas leak in the terrorist attack cause hallucinations? Are you FREAKING SERIOUS?_

_There are real live witnesses that saw what happened, people. Many of us- myself included- payed the price of that battle. We are hunted because of what we know. And I'm going to bring the proof to you real soon. Tomorrow._

_The truth get's out._

_Tomorrow, it begins._

COMMENTS;

**QuickSilver13**; Well. This is…interesting.

**Robo-Warrior**; Oh, so you don't believe? Just wait. They'll come knocking on your front door next.

**Quicksilver13**; I trust me, I believe. Probably more than you do.

**Robo-Warrior**; You are an imbecile. What are you doing on my site?

**QuickSilver13**; Classified.

**Robo-Warrior**; DO NOT ANTAGONIZE ME!

**QuickSilver13**; Yes, sir.

**Robo-Warrior**; And don't you _sir _me either, punk.

**QuickSilver13**; Roger that, _sir_.

**Robo-Warrior**; I'm warning you, buddy.

**QuickSilver13**; Aye aye, captain?

**Robo-Warrior**; One more time and I'm throwing you out, hot shot.

**Quicksilver13**; Acknowledged.

**Robo-Warrior; **I hate you.

**QuickSilver13**; Acknowledged.

**Robo-Warrior**; GET OUT!

**QuickSilver13**; Aye aye, sir.

**Robo-Warrior**; YOU PUNK ASS LITTLE _BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPING BLEEP._

**QuickSilver13**; Your mother know you talk like that?

~Site master has closed thread.~

* * *

><p>Simmons drummed his fingers on the edge of his laptop severely, like the drum beat to a march of war. Critics, he could take. Those little amateurs at TheRealEffingDeal .com he could take. Their uploads were border-line limbo, at best pathetic. But little snips like this- they really got on his nerves.<p>

_Not to self; terminate account of QuickSilver13._

Whoever the hell it was, anyways. It wasn't anyone from that little freshmen college website, he knew that much.

* * *

><p><em>That was unwise, Sideswipe. Do not antagonize the man so./_

_/Hey, I'm all for it, Sides. Sounds like this guy needs a lesson on cyber wars./_

_/Optimus, perhaps it is best if we monitor this website…just in case./_

_/What are you suggesting, Ratchet?/_

_/We's goin' unda-cover! Yeah, listen to da' doc!/_

_/Slag! Who patched them into this network?/_

_/Like it matters, Jolt. Just get them out./_

_/You try keeping them from hacking such primitive technology, Sideswipe. It's not easy./_

_/I managed to get an account on that idiot's website./_

_/That's nothing./_

_/I can always slag 'em for you, Jolt./_

_/Negative, Ironhide. I'm sure Ratchet would not appreciate his med bay being filled with those two again./_

_/Quite right./_

_/C'mon, Prime. We haven't seen a 'Con in weeks./_

_/Ironhide, we've had to track down three Cons in the past three months, all on separate continents. Don't tell me you like traveling via cargo plane?/_

_/Aw, give it a rest, Arcee. It's better than just sitting around the firing range./_

_/I think Ratchet has a point./_

_/Bumblebee, you choose now of all times to speak up?/_

_/Sorry, Arcee, but I do. Who knows what this guy has planned to upload?/_

_/We could just report him to the JCS./_

_/And take all the fun out of it? C'mon, Jolt, this is your thing. Live a little./_

_/Side, you're crazy./_

_/Sideswipe, though you have acted recklessly, I will let this pass. Bumblebee and Ratchet may be right. We will see what this website has in store for us./_

_/It could be an ex-Sector Seven agent!/_

_/Good theory, Bumblebee. We'll see how this guy likes __**my **__plasma cannons on this website. Hey, do you think it could be-?/_

_/All theories are being considered./_

_/It certainly sounds like him./_

_/That it does, Ratchet./_

_/Hey guys, I've got to go. The boy is back from school./_

_/Does he know where he is going for college?/_

_/Not yet, but with his scores, I'd bet on anything./_

_/That's great! Give the boy our best, Bee./_

_/Sure thing, Arcee. Hey, can we get a different network or maybe something on this site that we can chat on? I can't keep on this network forever. Actually, I'm probably going to loose it the second I move./_

_/I'll see what I can do./_

_/Thanks, Side./_


	3. Private Thread

_Special thanks to SunlightOnTheWater for reviewing this fic. :)_

* * *

><p>Http :  / www. GiantEffingRobots .com / private-thread /

**QuickSilver13; **Well hi there, everybody. Welcome to the club.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Wow, Side, that was fast. It's only three in the morning.

**QuickSilver13**; Was that annoyed sarcasm I detect on our chipper scout's line?

**Chevy_Cam'09**; You betcha.

**QuickSilver13**; Wow. Your Sarah Palin impressions are getting uncanny, even from here.

**Trip848**; back off, Side, before he really gets mad!

**TheHotOne**; Eh! That ain't make no sense! How can he tell he usin' a Sarah Palin clip when he can't even hear him?

**TheSmartOne**; it be sarcasm, stupid. Bumblebee used it there, but _Side _still be the king.

**QuickSilver13**; That's right. Now shut the slag up. Just cause this is private doesn't mean it can't be hacked. Who even thought of giving them an account?

**Lightning_Jolt**; didn't you?

**QuickSilver13**;…oh, right.

**Trip848**; Wow, Side. Three weeks without an international incident really has dulled your reflexes, hasn't it?

**QuickSilver13**; My reflexes are fine, _Trip_. Come to town right now and try them out.

**WrenchMaster**; NEGATIVE, TRIP. DO NOT ENGAGE THE PSYCHOPATH, REPEAT, TO NOT ENGAGE. Please, for the sake of my sanity, someone lay a few ground rules.

**Big_Boy07**; quite right. Usual safety protocols are in place, as this particular part of the site is not safe. TSO, you will have to delete that last comment of yours. My apologies.

**TheSmartOne**; I got you.

**Big_Boy07: **other than that…good work, QS. This is impressive.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; not to mention convenient. When you post at an hour acceptable to the West Coast.

**Lightning_Jolt**; How did you swing this one, QuickSilver?

**QuickSilver13**; Robo-warrior thinks he's the master of this site. Not by a lightyear ;) Just a little hacking, and I got us a private thread that even he can't see. Now we can have updates on his site and everything.

**WrenchMaster**; which means we can be just as easily hacked, does it not?

**QuickSilver13**; Not by people. You'd be amazed at the security this guy has on this place- it took me a few seconds to break through. It's like he's paranoid every hacker in the world is going to turn on him like fresh meat.

**Trip848; **great comparison, QuickSilver. Best picture to my mind I've had all day.

**TheHotOne**; that was sarcasm!

**Trip848**; Primus so help me…

**QuickSilver13**; I can always take care of them for you, Trip.

**Trip848; **No thanks, I get dips every time.

**Big_Boy'07**; actually, that would be me.

**QuickSilver13**; Ha. Overruled.

**WrenchMaster**; fix up their scraps yourself, Big Boy. If any one of you kill yourselves-or each other- over this Pit spawned site, I am hacking into it and crashing the whole thing. JCS won't have to bother.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Hey, where's Hide?

**WrenchMaster**; interesting. I was sure he would have blown his way into the conversation by now.

**QuickSilver13**; he's on line, I can tell. Hide, you there?

**Trip848**; maybe he's glitching up. WM, I can fix him.

**Big_Boy07**; he is not glitching. I have a visual now.

**TheSmartOne; **'Yo IRONHIDE! YOU THERE, FOOL?

**QuickSilver13**; DELETE!

**TheHotOne**; Yeah, stupid.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Optimus! What's wrong with him?

**QuickSilver13**; DELETE!

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Ack! Sorry.

**Big_Boy07**; LOL

**Trip848**;…What?

**Chevy_Cam'09**; ...

**QuickSilver13**; ...

**WrenchMaster**; ... That was just….

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Did he just….

**Trip848**; No way.

**Lightning_Jolt**; I think I just short-circuited.

**TheSmartOne**; Man, that is just _wrong_.

**TheHotOne**; Screwed up. Maybe the Decepti-creeps got 'em.

**Trip848; **Delete, THO. Delete.

**QuickSilver13**; …wait a minute…

**Chevy_Cam'09**; What?

**QuickSilver13**; Primus. That's it.

**Trip848**; Silver, don't do this to us. What's going on.

**QuickSilver13**; LOL

**Chevy_Cam'09**; ...

**WrenchMaster**; ...

**Springer_Hide**; I'm going to slag every last one of you to the Pit and back again.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; WHAT?

**Trip848**; WTP, Hide, WTP?

**WrenchMaster**; Springer Hide? I believe I missed the amusement here. What is with that ludicrous user name, Hide?

**QuickSilver13**; ever seen Jerry Springer?

**Lightning_Jolt**; Slag no.

**QuickSilver13**; Pit yes.

**WrenchMaster**; No.

**BigBoy07**; It is a T.V show, WM, but I believe it has nothing to do with his nickname.

**Springer_Hide**; it's the twins' fault. They got me stuck with this. WM, I don't care how sparkly and energon-free your medbay is, I'm sending a load of punks there RIGHT NOW.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; I suddenly love California and the 3,000 miles between you and me, Hide. TSO, THO, start running. Now. Peal out. Take a trip to Siberia.

**Trip848**; or Alaska.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; or the moon.

**Trip848**; or Jupiter.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; yeah, I hear Jupiter is nice this time of year.

**BigBoy07**; enough. We will see if we can get the user name changed. In the mean time, Springer_Hide, welcome to the thread.

**Springer_Hide**: *Grumble* Now you're just rubbing it in my face.

**BigBoy07**; of course not.

**QuickSilver13; **That's dry humor.

**Lightning_Jolt**; so what happens now?

**Chevy_Cam'09**; we wait. The guy says he has proof coming, right? How bad can it be? A photo shopped images? Something out of Terminator?


	4. Proof

_Names at the end of this page-_

* * *

><p><em>http :  / www. GiantEffingRobots .com / -uploads /_

_Yes, my little faithful civilian puppies. That is what you think it is. A real Giant Effing Robot spotted, caught accidentally on tape by that little lovesick boy giving his unsuspecting girl friend her little Victoria's Secret (cause we all know what's in that bag) birthday present. Friend or foe? Or rogue? As I have recently discovered, you people can comment on my posts, so I'll let you decide for yourselves. But hear it from the expert; one, it was bright blue, which usually isn't a color choice for a foe. And two, nothing in the area reported being blown up. So, I'll venture a guess that this is a friend. Maybe. You can't trust these aliens. ALWAYS USE CAUTION._

_Robo-Warrior, out!_

_Http : / / www. GiantEffingRobtos .com / private-thread /_

**Trip848; **Slag!

**Bigboy07; **When was this taken?

**Lightning_Jolt**; Two weeks ago, right? I remember you were stationed on that roof.

**Trip848; **Yeah, that was in San Francisco when Hide and I caught that creeper in Central Park. I'm so sorry, 07. I should have been more careful.

**Springer_Hide; **It's not her fault, BigBoy, I had to send a distress call cause I couldn't fit down that fragging alley it was hiding in. I suggest we hack in or slag whoever owns this site and be done with it.

**BigBoy07; **I do not blame you, Trip, but I suggest more caution in the future, especially around civilian cities.

**Springer_Hide**; I can still slag him.

**BigBoy07; **No.

**Springer_Hide; **Damn.

**QuickSilver13; **Way to blend in, Trip.

**Trip848**; you try it in such closed quarters! And how was I supposed to know there was an idiot with a camera in the next building?

**QuickSilver13**; There's always some idiot with a camera. That's why we know half of what goes on in the world.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **Yeah, you should really check out Youtube sometime!

**Trip848**; Cam…

**TheHotOne; **You's betta back off, Cam, or she gonna slag you all the way from here!

**Chevy_Cam'09; **I'm kidding, Trip. Don't point your pistols at me just yet.

**Trip848**; I made a mistake, alright?

**Chevy_Cam'09**; I'm kidding.

**QuickSilver13**; I'm not.

**WrenchMaster**; You're just glad you're not the one in trouble for once, QuickSilver. And while Cam may be protected by 3,000 miles of water, you are not, and I'm slagging well not letting you into my med bay if Trip decides to teach you a lesson.

**QuickSilver13; **I don't know what's more offensive, that you think I would actually fight a femme, or that I'd need your med bay when I'm done.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **O_O

**Lightning_Jolt; **::Blink::

**WrenchMaster; **::Blink::

**Springer_Hide; **XD

_-Trip848 has signed off-_

**TheSmartOne; **BWAHAHAHAHA! She's comin fo ya!

**BigBoy07; **::Blink::

**WrenchMaster; **That is the stupidest thing I've seen you do in a year.

**QuickSilver13; **So? I'm not scared of her.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; You should be. Trust me, QuickSilver…you should be.

**Springer_Hide; **You will be.

**TheHotOne; **BWAHAHA!

**WrenchMaster**; As previously stated, I am not intervening. Primus be with you, QuickSilver. But keep in mind if you damage anything you can't fix yourself, you will have ME to deal with.

**Lightning_Jolt; **She isn't in HQ. QuickSilver, I'd call Lennox RIGHT NOW.

**Chevy_Cam**; Or a SWAT team.

**Springer_Hide; **or God.

**QuickSilver13; **seriously, cool it. I can handle her.

**WrenchMaster**; Do you think you can handle me?

**QuickSilver13**; ::Blink::

**BigBoy07**; She isn't answering coms. I cannot call her off.

**Springer_Hide**; Like she'd listen to you anyways, BigBoy. Leave the slagger to his fate.

**Lightning_Jolt**; Yeah, let's talk damage control. What are we going to do about this?

**Chevy_Cam'09; **Sabotage!

**QuickSilver13**; Doesn't sound half bad.

**BigBoy07**; Negative.

**WrenchMaster**; Actually, I don't think it's bad idea. Obviously whoever is running this site isn't firing on all pistons. It didn't take much for QuickSilver to enrage him last time.

**Lightning_Jolt; **Looks like someone already is. Have you seen the uploader comments on the end of that last post?

**QuickSilver**; Um, guys…

**Springer_Hide; **Oh, this oughta be good.

**WrenchMaster**; If you damage _anything_…

**QuickSilver13**; Is it like Trip to…have a habit of, um…

**Springer_Hide; **when they're least expecting it.

**Lightning_Jolt; **you're enjoying this, aren't you?

**Springer_Hide; **immensely.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Why, QS? She isn't stalking you, is she? Cause if you're at the firing range, that place is like a maze. You're fragged.

**QuickSilver13**; Yes. But I'm not…Oh, _slag _me-

_-QuickSilver13 has signed off.-_

**Springer_Hide**; LOL!

**Lightning_Jolt; **this is bad…

**BigBoy07**; I hope she does not go too far…

**TheHotOne**; BWAHAHAHA

**TheSmartOne**; BWAHAHAHA!

**Chevy_Cam'09**; ...that was uncanny, even for you guys.

**WrenchMaster; **07, For my sake, make sure she doesn't get too serious.

**Springer_Hide**; Like anything's going to stop her now.

**Lightning_Jolt**; UPLOADER COMMENTS!

**Chevy_Cam'09; **We're going, Jolt, sheesh…

**Lightning_Jolt**; Seriously, you guys have _got _to see this.

-_Trip848 is online.-_

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Hold up!

**Trip848**; So! Did I miss anything?

**Springer_Hide**; Only us talking about QuickSilver's inevitable demise. Where is he?

**Trip848**; I suspect he'll come around in a few minutes.

**WrenchMaster**; Slag.

**Trip848**; I make no promises as to the shape he'll be in though.

**WrenchMaster**; SLAG.

**TheSmartOne**; Ooooohh! He done got his skid plate handed to him!

**TheHotOne**; Booyah! That done not happen since Megatron took a swing at him at Tyga Pax!

**Lightning_Jolt**; DELETE!

**Chevy_Cam'09**; DELETE!

**BigBoy07**; DELETE!

**Springer_Hide; **now _that _was uncanny.

**BigBoy07**; THO, if you allow such a slip up again, I will have to terminate your account. Am I clear?

**TheHotOne**; Oops.

**Trip848**; Never thought I'd see BigBoy using all caps.

**Springer_Hide**; that's more like his roar of righteousness in print. Jolt and Cam are more screaming like little girls.

**Lightning_Jolt**; Hey!

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Hey!

**Springer_Hide**; _Uncanny_.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **you're one to talk, tooth fairy.

**Lightning_Jolt**; BWAHAHA!

_-QuickSilver13 has signed on.-_

**WrenchMaster**; Primus.

**Springer_Hide; **how you doing there, kid?

**Chevy_Cam'09; **Hey! He's alive! That's progress.

**BigBoy07**; QuickSilver, report.

**QuickSilver13**;….Ratchet….

**Lightning_Jolt**; O_O

**Springer_Hide**; _Primus_.

**TheHotOne**; Here he comes!

**WrenchMaster; **_Yes?_

**Chevy_Cam'09; **That has got to be the most dangerous word I have ever seen in print.

**QuickSilver13**; Um…I can't really move my arm. I can fix that myself, right?

**WrenchMaster**; You little…

_-WrenchMaster has signed off.-_

**BigBoy07**; Slag.

_-BigBoy07 has signed off.-_

**Springer_Hide; **Run, Forest! RUN!

**QuickSilver13**; SLAG.

_-QuickSilver13 has singed off.-_

**Trip848**; damn. I don't even think Big Boy will be able to hold off WM in a rampage.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **Wow. I miss you guys. Time to go to school, though. I'll see you later.

* * *

><p><strong>Ew. That was more of a solid chat-room message than anything. Don't worry, it'll change starting next chappie. Btdubs...<strong>

For anyone in confusion;

**BigBoy07= **Optimus. "Big Boy" is his NEST call sign, and '07 was the year they landed.

**Chevy_Cam'09= **...Self-explanitory. Bee was a '09 Chevy Camaro in RotF, which is this universe.

**Trip848= **Arcee. She's a trine (triplets) and her "Arcee" component was a Ducati 848

**Springer_Hide= **Ironhide. Accidently got this on a user-name maker sight, thought it was riciculous. So...here it is :)

**TheHotOne= **Mudflap. Cause his ego is hilarious

**TheSmartOne= **Skids. Cause he beleives he's the "smarter" of the two.

**QuickSilver13= **Sideswipe. Honestly, it just came to me.

**WrenchMaster= **Ratchet...not gonna say more ;)

**Lightning_Jolt= **another one of those jumpers like QuickSilver. Jolt.


	5. Sabatoge

Http : / / GiantEffingRobots .com / -re;uploads-post/

_Yes, my little faithful civilian puppies. That is what you think it is. A real Giant Effing Robot spotted, caught accidentally on tape by that little lovesick boy giving his unsuspecting girl friend her little Victoria's Secret (cause we all know what's in that bag) birthday present. Friend or foe? Or rogue? As I have recently discovered, you people can comment on my posts, so I'll let you decide for yourselves. But hear it from the expert; one, it was bright blue, which usually isn't a color choice for a foe. And two, nothing in the area reported being blown up. So, I'll venture a guess that this is a friend. Maybe. You can't trust these aliens. ALWAYS USE CAUTION._

_Robo-Warrior, out!_

COMMENTS;

**Shakatron3000**; This is crap.

**Fassinator**; How'd you upload so fast? This was taken like what, two days ago?

**Robo-Warrior**; try two weeks, amateurs. It just took me a while to coax it out of my secret sources.

**Sharkatron3000**; What sources!

**Robo-Warrior**; If I told you, then it wouldn't a SECRET, would it?

**Lord_León**; Shark, Fass, stand down! I'll do the talking. **Robo-Warrior **I don't know who you think you are, but this website is nothing compared to mine. HEY PEEPS! ALL WHO WANT THE TRUTH; GO TO THE RealEffingDeal(.)com!

**Robo-Warrior**; This is a site dedicated to freeing the poor and ignorant civilian minds and exposing the truth of mother-effing aliens. DO NOT SCREAM YOUR ADVERTIZMENTS OUT ON MY SITE! NOW BE GONE!

**Lord_León**; or what?

**Fassinator**; TheRealEffingDeal is going places!

**Robo-Warrior**; Huzzah.

**Lord_León**; Oh you are so on, man. Roomies, OUT!

**Robo-Warrior**; amateurs.

_Https : / / GiantEffingrobots .com / private-thread /_

**Trip848**; WTP?

**QuickSilver13**; sounds like they're trying to out-dork one another.

**Lightning_Jolt**; I checked this guy's site. Hate to say it, but Robo-Warrior is right. It's pathetic.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **What the hell is with that picture of that girl in an Iron Man suit? Are the serious!

**Lightning_Jolt**; actually, I think that's a joke, Cam.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; …right.

**Trip848**; but the rest of this site is pathetic.

**Springer_Hide**; Little alien robot cars? What the slagging hell?

**WrenchMaster**; It seems our friend Robo-Warrior has some competition.

**QuickSilver13**; Dork competition. These guys are pathetic. They're probably operating out of their mothers' basements.

**Trip848**; actually, they're just in high school, so it's pretty likely.

**TheHotOne**; Eh! They's got pics!

**QuickSilver13**; …slag, he's right.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **where?

**Lightning_Jolt**; homepage. Mission City? It looks like…_slag-_

**BigBoy07**; Me.

**Springer_Hide**; Yep. Those are your shin guards, BigBoy. Way to give Trip a lesson on being discrete.

**BigBoy07**; I seem to recall I had other things on my mind at the time.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **Plus it looks like it could have been poorly photo shopped. I'd say you're safe, 07.

**WrenchMaster**; It looks like there's been a cyber war going on over our existence, and we didn't even know about it.

**Springer_Hide; **JCS can't be everywhere. Once it gets big though, they'll shut it down.

**BigBoy07**; Hide is right. If this gets too out of control, we may have to inform the JCS. But I doubt anyone would take these humans, particularly the boys, seriously.

**Springer_Hide; **admit it. You just want the whole world to know.

**BigBoy07**; it is their right.

**TheSmartOne**; We's secret agent now, yeah!

**QuickSilver13**; Ignore him.

**Trip848**; We don't need a prompt.

**WrenchMaster**; and if people do start to take this seriously?

**BigBoy07**; this may be the only outlet we have to see the human's reaction to us. I suggest we use it.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; We know how they react to us. You saw the boy.

**Trip848**; not all humans are like him, Cam. Or the girl.

**Springer_Hide; **you saw his 'ma when she got a load of us.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; don't remind me. I'm still sleeping in their garage.

**TheSmartOne**; Hey! When's we's gonna meet them, anyways?

**TheHotOne**; yeah, they's still don't know the coolest bots!

**Chevy_Cam'09**; NO.

**QuickSilver13**; permission to sabotage that page?

**BigBoy07**; If I say no, will you do it anyways?

**QuickSilver13**; …

**BigBoy07**; ….slag.

**QuickSilver13**; Thanks, Optimus!

**WrenchMaster**; DELETE!

**Springer_Hide; **slag.

**COMMENTS;**

**Shakatron3000**; This is crap.

**Fassinator**; How'd you upload so fast? This was taken like what, two days ago?

**Robo-Warrior**; try two weeks, amateurs. It just took me a while to coax it out of my secret sources.

**Sharkatron3000**; What sources!

**Robo-Warrior**; If I told you, then it wouldn't a SECRET, would it?

**Lord_León**; Shark, Fass, stand down! I'll do the talking. **Robo-Warrior **I don't know who you think you are, but this website is nothing compared to mine. HEY PEEPS! ALL WHO WANT THE TRUTH; GO TO THE !

**Robo-Warrior**; This is a site dedicated to freeing the poor and ignorant civilian minds and exposing the truth of mother-effing aliens. DO NOT SCREAM YOUR ADVERTIZMENTS OUT ON MY SITE! NOW BE GONE!

**Lord_León**; or what?

**Fassinator**; TheRealEffingDeal is going places!

**Robo-Warrior**; Huzzah.

**Lord_León; **Oh you are so on, man. Roomies, OUT!

**Robo-Warrior**; amateurs.

**QuickSilver13**; Geeks of the world unite.

**Robo-Warrior**; Ah, the Imbecile. What the hell are you doing back here?

**QuickSilver13**; Just couldn't stay away ;)

**Robo-Warrior**; I won't take any crap from you, civilian. Mark my words.

**QuickSilver13**; What makes you think I'm a civilian?

**Robo-Warrior**; You're here, aren't you.

**QuickSilver13**; Hm.

**Robo-Warrior**; don't you HM me either, punk.

**QuickSilver13**; Yes sir.

**Lord_León**; Hey! You think we're geeks? Just wait, man. The robots are coming for you. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! And you will be next.

**QuickSilver13**; One person out of billions.

**Lord_León**; ever heard of Mission City?

**QuickSilver13**; Ever heard of psych wards?

**Fassinator**; Haha. Clever.

**Lord_León**; FASS!

**Fassinator**; Sorry, boss.

**Sharkatron3000**; We got you, boss.

**Trip848**; Hey, QS. Thought you might need some back up.

**Robo-Warrior; **God help us all. Another one.

**QuickSilver13**; I'm fine, thanks.

**Lord_León**; and you are?

Trip848; don't strain yourself, honey. I'm nothing to worry about ;)

**Lord_León**; Yowzah. You aren't a dude, right?

**QuickSilver13**; Trust me. You _don't _know what you're doing.

**Fassinator**; Any chance you happen to live in Kansas?

**Sharkatron3000**; or the U.S?

**Fassinator**; Yeah, the U.S works too.

**QuickSilver13**; This has got to be against the law. Actually, Trip, I'm pretty sure it is.

**Lord_León**; what law?

**QuickSilver13**; the laws of _nature_.

**Lord_León**; what, you think I successful bachelor like myself can't get some? Back off, dude! There's plenty of your pal to go around! I'm a hunter. Let me hunt.

**QuickSilver13**; I was being serious.

**Trip848**; Sorry, boys, but I got a question for Robo-Warrior.

**Robo-Warrior; **remembered me, have you?

**Trip848**; Have you ever actually SEEN one of these robots?

**Robo-Warrior**; Classified.

**QuickSilver13**; as in I'm a farmer that just saw a pterodactyl classified?

**Robo-Warrior**; DO NOT PATRONIZE ME, IMBECILE! I WILL RIP YOU APART AND SCATTER YOUR ASHES WHERE NO ONE WILL FIND THEM. NO ONE!

**Trip848**; :O You shouldn't have done that.

**Robo-Warrior; **and why's that?

**QuickSilver13**; BWAHAHA!

_-QuickSilver13 has signed off.-_

**Robo-Warrior**; Yeah! You better run!

**Trip848**; He's not running. He's calling in the cavalry. You're screwed.

**Lord_León**; So, Trip, now that we're here all alone…

**Robo-Warrior; **don't even think about it, amateur. Go flirt on your own damn website, or better yet, get a girlfriend you can actually SEE.

**QuickSilver13**; I'm baaaaaack.

**Trip848**; Frag.

**WrenchMaster**; scatter his ashes, hm?

**Robo-Warrior**; who the hell are you?

**QuickSilver13**; nut job, meet WrenchMaster. WrenchMaster, conspiracy-theorist nut job.

**WrenchMaster**; To answer your question, idiot, I'm you worst nightmare.

**Robo-Warrior**; with a name like WrenchMaster? What is that- a reference to a mechanic?

**QuickSilver13**; or a reference to the fact that he throws wrenches.

**Robo-Warrior**; that's it? We're online, idiots! He can't throw a wrench at me through the screen!

**WrenchMaster**; No, but you know what I can do? I can trace this website right back to you, no matter how many firewalls you have up, no matter how hard you try to hide. You so much as threaten that dumbass, and I swear I will find you and tear up limb from limb, and no one will find your ashes because there won't be that much of you left. Comprende, Paco?

**Robo-Warrior; **YOU DARE THREATEN ME? I AM THE MASTER OF THIS SITE, CIVILIAN, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO INTIMIDATE ME WITH YOUR _BEEP BEEP BEEPING BEEP._

**WrenchMaster**; TRY TO CAPS ME AGAIN AND JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS YOU _BEEP BEEP _PIECE OF _BEEP BEEP BEEPING BEEPING BEEP _SON OF A _BEEPING BEEP /omit string/ BEEP_ YOU.

**Lord_León**; …

**Fassinator**; …

**Sharkatron3000**; …

**Trip848**; Cavalry.

**QuickSilver13**; Gotta love friends.

_-Robo-Warrior has signed off-_

**WrenchMaster**; _BEEPING _good riddance.

_Http : / GiantEffingRobots .com / private-thread /_

**BigBoy07; **Well, that did absolutely slagging nothing. I let you two out for five minutes, and you have to bring Ratchet- _Ratchet_- into the conversation to scare the human senseless. Not only have you found out absolutely slagging nothing, you've terrified them of us already, and they don't even know who we are. I'm surprised I haven't found it in myself to delete your accounts already.

**Bigboy07**; and I can see by the little speech bubble box next to your name that you're typing, Jolt. I'll delete that comment when I slagging well see fit.

**Lightning_Jolt**; right, boss.

**WrenchMaster**; the fragger was asking for it. And don't tell me when to hold back, you slagging _beep beep_.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Um, WM…

**WrenchMaster**; _beep_.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Right.

**Springer_Hide**; I think the little creep deserved it, BigBoy. But QS, Trip, if it wasn't for those other nerds to interrogate, I would be slagging pissed, too. Don't screw the next job up.

**TheSmartOne**; They's flirtin' with Trip! WTP?

**TheHotOne**; and You's guys call US dum!

**TheSmartOne**; what you mean US, stupid? You be the dumb one.

**Springer_Hide**; STOP.

**QuickSilver13**; And it wasn't pointless, BigBoy. We know that these geeks are having a cyber war over our existence, and the other losers don't have half their facts straight. We know they're cracked, so interrogating them about us is going to get us next to nowhere. I say we target the civilians of the sites- and I don't mean those boys. The other two are just cronies. Whoever the frag names themselves 'lord lion', half in Spanish, obviously has bad reflection issues.

**Trip848**; He's right, 07. We did learn something. And either this Robo-Warrior is suffering severe PTS from a D-con fight and on the run from the gov, or he's just got really, really good sources and just a total wannabe.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; I can see it.

**WrenchMaster**; either way, if he doesn't leave them alone, the JCS won't have to worry about this website for much longer.

**BigBoy07**; DON'T give Hide any ideas. You are not to engage, repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE. I am restricting you to cameo for a while, WM. And QS, you are now the herald of misfortune for this man. Back off for a while.

**Trip848**; Cam wants to come. Let him talk to Robo-Warrior. Plus his people skills are probably better than ours…

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Yup.

**BigBoy07**; Permission granted.

**TheSmartOne**; HEY! When is we gonna get to go?

**TheHotOne**; yeah, we gots good people skilz!

**Springer_Hide**; how about when the Pit becomes a mountain.

**WrenchMaster**; when hell freezes over.

**Springer_Hide; **when Hatchet stops cussing.

**WrenchMaster**; When Hide becomes a pacifist.

**Springer_Hide**;…touché, doc. Touché.

**WrenchMaster**; Beeping right.

**BigBoy07**; My words exactly. In a sense.

**QuickSilver13**; Ha.


	6. Growing Numbers

_**http : / www(.)GiantEffingRobots(.)com / private-thread /**_

**TheSmartOne**; Dis Be ridiculous! I be suing dis place! Who did it, eh?

**TheHotOne**; I with you, bro. Whoever did dis is SCRAP!

**Trip848**; WTP? What are you two talking about?

**Springer_Hide**; GLITCHING about.

**QuickSilver13**; I switched their accounts.

**Wrench_Master**; of course it all comes down to YOU.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **Why, QS?

**QuickSilver13**; I thought it was ironic.

**Chevy_Cam'09**;… oh hahaha I get it. Funny.

**Springer_Hide**; this sense of irony is lost on me.

**Springer_Hide; **I see you typing, doc. don't tell ME what irony is.

**Wrench_Master; **very well, _springer_.

**Trip848**; He means it's ironic that anyone would think the original "Smart One" is hot, or that the original "Hot One" is smart. I think.

**QuickSilver13**; and I was bored.

**Springer_Hide**; who thinks that their original user names fit them anyways?

**QuickSilver13**; BWAHAHA!

**TheSmartOne**; All o' you is punks!

**TheHotOne**; yeah, were be the RESPECT around hea?

**Springer_Hide**; come to town right now, boys, and I'll teach you a thing or two about _respect_.

**QuickSilver13**; Count me in.

**WrenchMaster**; NEGATIVE! DO NOT ENGAGE!

**Big_Boy'07**; I thought we established that I get dibs every time.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; hey '07! Nice of you to join us.

**Big_Boy'07**; Jolt and I just returned from patrol. All clear.

**QuickSilver13**; of course it is. Nothing ever happens out here. EVER.

**Big_Boy'07; **a small price to pay considering the alternative, QS.

**Springer_Hide**; you weren't here to see Mission City. I could live without another invasion on this planet for a thousand years.

**WrenchMaster**; which is exactly why I'm not letting you two bring twin-apocalypto down on our slagging heads.

**Springer_Hide**; frag.

**Trip848**; Have any updates with the website, Cam?

**Chevy_Cam'07**; not since I checked this morning. Hey, guys, what should I do for the boy and girl's anniversary? They both keep asking me for ideas, but I want to do something special, too.

**Springer_Hide; **Just kidnap them and drag them to that tree like you did last time.

**Trip848**; You're so unromantic, Hide.

**QuickSilver13**; compared to what some humans to as romantic gestures, that actually doesn't sound like a bad idea.

**Trip848**; frag you.

**QuickSilver13**; Yes ma'am.

**TheHotOne**; awwww, give da boy n gurl our luv, Chevy!

**TheSmartOne**; yeaaa, why don you give 'em a pic of us and tell 'em who da best bots are?

**TheHotOne**; no present gonna be betta than that!

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Primus help me.

**QuickSilver13**; and here I thought your stupidity truly knew no bounds, kids. You've outdone yourselves. Seriously Cam, just get them some flowers and be done with it.

**Trip848**; you wouldn't know what a flower was if the twins stuffed every viable surface in your body with them while you were in recharge.

**BigBoy'07; **perhaps just a card or a payed for dinner, Cam. Your argument seems to be rousing more conflict here than across the Pacific.

**Chevy_Cam'07**; No kidding.

**Lightning_Jolt; **Blog-alert. Psycho just updated again.

**Springer_Hide; **Uh-oh.

**http : / therealeffingdeal(.)com / updates**

_Now the doofuses over at therealeffingdeal(.)com think these images are of a giant alien bot sucking on a POWER PLANT. You idiots! How could you be so WRONG? That, my friends, is a TRANSFORMER STATION, not a power plant! OMG. Get your electrical grid facts straight, you bunch of pambies!_

**Fassinator**; You little… listen up, Robo-Warrior, what the hell else would a giant effing robot be doing in a power plant! Haven't you seen any movies! Of COURSE it's sucking our power!

**Robo-Warrior**; Amateur, as soon as I figure out how to manage this freaking site, you're the second one I'm kicking off here.

**QuickSilver13**; OMG?

**Robo-Warrior**; and you're the first.

**QuickSilver13**; you did NOT say OMG.

**Trip848**; What exactly do you think a robot would want with a transformer station, sir?

**Robo-Warrior; **uh…it's complicated.

**Checy_Cam'09**; dude, whatever it is, I think we can handle it.

**Fassinator; **hey... Long time, no see.

**QuickSilver13**; more like never see.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; ?

**Robo-Warrior**; don't ask, kid. Anyways, these are TRANSFORMER robots. This one, at the time, was attacking taking out a grid system, thereby incapacitating a power plant in a psycho alien siege.

**QuickSilver13**; and you know this how…?

**Robo-Warrior**; _classified_, punk.

**QuickSilver13**; roger that, _sir_.

**Mr. J**; that thing looks familiar…its not from Mission City, is it?

**Robo-Warrior; **don't even get me started.

**Paxtin**; I can't see anything but a blurry mess. I cant believe you people waste your lives on pixilated crap like that. Get a life, man.

**Agent Zephyr**; to quote a certain FBI poster; I want to believe.

**Pryex**; On Holiday me and my friend and rents were in the middle of that battle. We hid in the back of an alley and that thing came flying out of the sky. They called it "Starscream" in plain old English.

**Robo-Warrior**; middle of the battle, huh? Yeah, that definitely sounds like that alleyway you were hiding in.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **well YOU sure as hell weren't there.

**Robo-Warrior**; excuse me?

**http : / therealeffingdeal(.)com / private-thread**

**BigBoy'07**; this is very bad.

**WrenchMaster; **You didn't honestly believe they wouldn't have seen us, '07? It was obvious. Also, Hide doesn't exactly have the quietest of bellows.

**Springer_Hide**; I saved EVERYONE'S slagging aft, and I don't feel a damn slight sorry about it. But I'm surprised they'd remember a detail so minor.

**QuickSilver13**; don't call him SIR next time, Trip. You really through him for a loop there. And not the good kind.

**Lightning_Jolt**; Cam seemed to do the best blending in, despite blowing up at the end there.

**Chevy_Cam'09; **he WASN'T there. I don't give a slag if Mr. Let's-see-what-happens-when-we-poke-the-bodyguard-with-_this _gets his feelings hurt. We lost one of our own in that battle. I got my legs ripped off. '07 nearly DIED, and so did the boy. He _wasn't _there.

**Big_Boy'07**; Easy, Cam. Easy.

**Chevy_Cam'09**_; _Sorry, 07.

**Lightning_Jolt; **well, at least this site is getting more popular. That last post had a lot more comments on it than the ones before.

**WrenchMaster; **And clearly, some people do believe we're here to do some good on this slagging planet.

**Springer_Hide**; bout time they did.

**TheHotOne**; EH! IM BACK, EH?

**TheSmartOne; **MES TO, BRO!

**QuickSilver13**; Slag.

**Trip848**; they may not be the smartest, but they're still Cybertronians, QS. Don't try to throw them a technology loop on this planet.

**TheHotOne; **so what we do now, fools!

**QuickSilver13**; we wait for another post, fool.

**Big_Boy'07**; Affirmative. Concentrate more on the civilians.

**Springer_Hide; **and leave the crazies to rant by themselves.

**WrenchMaster; **he's obviously a difficult person to live with. 07, maybe you alone could stand a conversation with him without trying to strangle him through cyberspace.

**Big_Boy'07; **We shall see.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Guys, any ideas for the whole anniversary thing?

**Trip848; **According to http (:/)thenest(.)com (ironically) several good date ideas for under 20$ include bowling, a picnic, roller skating, or seeing a drive-in movie.

**Chevy_Cam'09**; Hey! That actually gives me an idea. Thanks, Trip!

T**rip848**; Any time, Bee.

**Lightning_Jolt; **DELETE!

**Trip848; **Sorry!

* * *

><p><strong>AN; finally! at this point, all updates on the real effing deal . com belong to Bay-town. As does the website, all usernames, and most of the content stated within their comments. Reveiw! please**


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